On Identity

I mentioned briefly in the previous post that I have done a lot of things in my not-too-long life. I’ve been an actress, a bookseller, and a graduate student, not once but twice in two different fields. I’ve studied Victorian Literature and medieval romance, Crusade narratives and narrative theory. I’ve developed a dislike of post-modernism and a deep respect for scholarship. I’ve designed story times and assessed historical collections. I’ve helped students learn to read and write critically and, even more importantly, to think for themselves.

During all of this, I taught myself how to write. I did this by reading a lot, and by writing very bad stories for many, many years until I got better and began to get published, much to my surprise and delight. I’ve done a great many things, (a lot of them monumental to no one but myself), but I have done none of them with as much success as I’d have liked.

I’ve wondered, often despairingly, why this was, and I recently realized that it comes down to something very simple and extremely silly. It has to do with identity. We are, in many ways, identified by what we do. Our professional labels carry with them certain societal markers that, for good or ill, place us into categories and boxes.

“What do you do?”

“ Oh, I’m a ____.”

And there. The person you’re talking to subconsciously, or consciously slots you into a box that defines the rest of that interaction, or, potentially, the rest of that relationship.

Doctor = Smart. Fireman = Brave. Teacher = Dedicated.

I’ve never liked boxes. They simplify the inherently complex identity of the person they represent. And yet, my intellectual mind knows how functional these boxes are. My intellectual mind acknowledges that most people know that there is more to a person than what he or she does. And yet, I resisted committing to one field for years. The irony is that resisting commitment to a professional identity does not exempt you from pigeonholing. If anything, that lack of commitment becomes a different kind of marker, one that makes commitment a far more attractive thing.

In fact, it may well be that it is commitment to a particular identity that nurtures and harnesses a person’s full potential. It signals the maturation of ambitions, whether you’re working a day job so you can write at night, or tearing up Wall Street. Commitment to identity signals to the world that you know, at a certain level, who you are, and that you are self-aware enough to pursue your interests professionally and / or vocationally.

It’s that acceptance of public identity, paired with a lack of concern for the illusion of its importance, that frees a person to pursue the depth of their potential in whatever field, or identity, they choose.

On Curiosity & Discourse, or What I’m Doing Here

Although I’ve done a number of things in my life, from acting to academia, curiosity has been a constant. I’m a curious person. I like to think.

Here are some things I think about in no particular order:

  • Beauty
  • Culture
  • Psychology
  • Coping Mechanisms
  • Dissociative Disorders
  • Feminism in the 21st century
  • Gender Relations
  • Religion
  • Atheism
  • Spirituality
  • Buddhism
  • Books
  • Literature
  • Smut
  • Academia
  • Human Behavior
  • Media, Social and Otherwise
  • Parenting
  • Sex
  • Sexuality
  • Sexual Dynamics
  • Sex as Conversation
  • Gender Normativity
  • Writing
  • Ethics
  • Morality
  • Sociopathy
  • Empathy
  • Power Dynamics
  • Control
  • Deviance
  • Innocence
  • BDSM
  • Virginity
  • Femininity
  • Masculinity
  • Performative Identity
  • Performative Sexuality
  • Personal Identity
  • Gender
  • Adaptation
  • Relationships
  • Justice
  • Existential Quandaries
  • Other Minds
  • Personal Responsibility
  • Cultural Analysis
  • Literary Criticism
  • Guilty Pleasures
  • Food
  • TV
  • Movies & Film
  • San Francisco
  • New York
  • Hollywood
  • Motherhood
  • Fairy Tales
  • Point of View
  • Truth
  • Fiction
  • Essays
  • Names
  • Integrity
  • Recovery
  • Duality
  • Art
  • Discipline
  • Doubling
  • Non-Monogamy
  • Incest
  • Tea
  • Things Other People Say That Are Terribly Clever

This isn’t a complete list, but it’s close – for now. There’s always room for more.

More importantly, it covers what I’ll be thinking and writing about here –  thinking being the operative word. Conclusions are comforting, but they can be dangerous, which is why I’m more interested in discourse than in answers.

While I’m sure I will come to and posit many conclusions in my posts, my aim is to do so with an open mind, and to form as little attachment to them as possible. In this way, I hope to maintain a fluid perspective that will allow for discussion, rather than the parroting of ideologies. Ideologies love a parrot. I’ll think for myself, thanks very much.

And I invite comments. I want to know what you think, too. Otherwise, there’s little point in tossing more words into the void. Thinking. Curiosity. Discussion. Running the gamut from A to B, to paraphrase Dorothy Parker. This is the fun stuff for me. I hope it is for you too.